Did a sketch of Aung San and I couldn't capture the softness of her eyes...Her beauty made it harder. I cant make a person smile when i draw, it always turns out to be one's most unfeeling, cold look..Perhaps thats how i see them.

The chilean wine turn out to be a disappointment..yesterday was one disappointment,today as well..I didnt know a No could numb me this way.

I was gonna go down just to wet my fingers at least but then a damn thunder shook me. I realized i am alone in the house...I dont easily get scared,in fact its scary that I dont fear anything at all.. but these days i make sure i lock my room just before I sleep. A few unsolicited calls in my hotel room in the middle of the night gave me nightmares earlier...I even remember the name of the captain. The last time i felt the same was back home when this guy started making it a routine to follow me everyday after tuition. I told dad hoping him to solve the issue but he simply told me to quit going for classes..I sat on the edge of the bed, feeling repulsed at my weakness..for being a girl. I was 16 at that time. Of course i maneuvered around this tag as well...cut ques, got free entries for movies, clubs etc etc..just recently one of the guy that i worked on the flight was amazed that a passenger whom i spilled red wine(on his crisp white shirt) didnt complained at all. He said if he were the one who did the mishap, the passenger would ve screwed him upside down.I ve never paid any fine for drivin without a license even tho caught on several occassions..lol. bUt i also know that I cant compete with the sheer strength of a man..I learnt instead that loushing na samu fabane..

The past ten days I spent mostly indoors,behind closed doors, all by myself and I realized it could be shocking to find myself doing things i am not proud of. I ate crap,never let the housekeeping come in to change the bedsheets and I kept talking to myself! I wept during commercial breaks when a thought suddenly creeps in..and quickly wiped my tears when the movie continued. I would ve lost my mind if i continued doing what I did. So one morning I woke up early and when to the health club and ran on the treadmill for an hour..rested in the sauna after that. And spent the rest of the afternoon walking alone in huge shopping malls and trying new shoes.

I was in this mexican joint when an american asked me to join him. He lingered for a moment in his subtle persuasion..well, I wanted to be alone & I had ordered tacos(u know its messy with the cheesy dressin droppin off when u eat that) but then i agreed..I hadnt spoken to anyone in days. I forgot most of what we talked about but i noticed he had green eyes that appeared gold near his pupils..and i also noticed that he was staring at my naked shoulder when my shirt slid a bit as i turned to point towards a direction of a shop...After a few awkward conversation n staring at each other i walked off towards my hotel. Perhaps it was better that way. Phone numbers and promises to meet were part of the temporarism of our time. I ve so many numbers that I cudnt put a face to..I m sure its the same with the other person. I could hear the thunder in the distance..it might rain tonight. I keep listening to this song that i cant get rid off, maybe i never tried deleting it. well, I wanted to finish this sketch that i started before my flight but i havent really touched the pencil eversince i got back. 12 hours in a flight could screw one's sense of focus. Its an excuse though coz i d stayed up whole night to start that...

Gosh,its starting to rain..I am debating in my mind whether to go out n get soaked...or not...its 3 in the morning.

Talk about physical exertion..!I Feel like the cat who s got the cream..

If the world ll fall apart in a fiction worthy wind, I wudnt change a thing..

Love is a verb here in my room...here in my room.

Jogged this evenin..is it age catching up or my unhealthy habits that I was panting after the third round.I remember I had this fuel that burnt constantly when i ran earlier..Well, anyway by the time i was in the 11th lapse I felt much better.I loved the sweat & the physical exertion.

I feel a certain restlessness though..perhaps its the events that ll happen tom.i see the futility of my efforts...

An appointment at Raffles boulevard, a few forgettable shops in between n yes, matthias.My keyboard seems to ve froze or is it my fingers?

Jet lagged & hungry.

I got called up for a 7days seoul san fransisco just 5 hours before the reportin.So when I reached seoul the next day i slept off on the sofa of my hotel room.Had a flight the next day to California.11 plus hours...I felt screwed sideways.Anyway,when I finally reached SFO i slept thru out the day n woke up hungry again.So I went down to this fast food joint just outside Parc55.I saw a few blacks screamin out somethin incoherent..think they might be under an influence..A lot of bummers surprisingly.as i passed by n this guy sorta almost came beside me.I hurried..my heart skipped a beat.I had a whole day to myself...so I went out in the mornin..My gosh,the place was so alive...people performin on the streets..tap dancers, violinists..painters..

Well, I shopped!Never blew so much money in my life.Sale in America is so cool.Its a lot better than korea..I got this black tight pant that was size double zero!n the salesboy told me i sud ve a happy smile on my face today..haha.He hasnt seen my ribcage.Shoppin is rescue when u re bored out of ur brains.And i thought I wont buy anything on my way back to seoul...My cargo bag looked as if it wanted to vomit!