Guilt is such an unnecessary baggage to carry. Its heavy especially when I sleep at nights..Guilts about the way I spoke to elders at home, of lovers that I walked on & of promises that I didn't honour. And a pressure to write when I couldn't do even one line. So I took a pill to put on a thick skin so that when I read what I wrote I wouldn't throw up on it.
I wonder if I am any different now than how I was at a Shady night club that runs non-stop from Friday night till Sunday morning, soaked in ecstasy and dancing with a girl with 4 blade lines on her wrist that read 'If I were you, I wouldn't come near this vinegar heart'. Her eyes said something else.
She played with her nails on my skin the previous night & we reeked of lust. We had men swarming around us.
I wonder if I am any different now than how I was at a Shady night club that runs non-stop from Friday night till Sunday morning, soaked in ecstasy and dancing with a girl with 4 blade lines on her wrist that read 'If I were you, I wouldn't come near this vinegar heart'. Her eyes said something else.
She played with her nails on my skin the previous night & we reeked of lust. We had men swarming around us.
I don't know what was it that drove me then, was it an urge to see how far I could go or just the pure recklessness of a girl without a purpose to live for. And I squandered my youth, wasting it, abusing it & I loved doing it as I danced..
I tell a beautiful lie
every time that I did not open up my mouth.
All the same, it’s a game,it’s a play, it’s a war,
it’s a shame that we’re always fighting for.
I don’t mean to cast no blame
I don’t intend to pretend, I could never loved you more.
But in the blink of an eye, everything you ever knew can change.
And it’s a beautiful lie if you think everything will always stay the same.
Its a frozen photograph of a past that I fear. I fear wearing that old skin..That old secret again.
A secret that's aching to show..
