A classmate from school tried contacting me and I was missing her all these time till I saw her text. She said she kept me in her memories..for 8 years. Well, I did the same I think. I tried looking for her online earlier but without luck. I assumed she wouldn't be in Manipur, no one stays there anymore. And I made it difficult for others to find me coz I don't put my name in any of my accounts. Fallen Angel eh..I am stuck with this name he gave me.

So this fren of mine, Soni was cheerful & funny & I used to call her a white mouse because of her fair skin and small frame. She was my best friend. I loved her but I was dismayed by the label 'lesbian' that others called us. So I stayed away. She must've felt it too..The confusion. God knows how kids get these ideas. In class 1, barely 4 years old I was treated like an untouchable for being with a tribal girl (weren't suppose to even talk to them I guess), but we shared our tiffins and she stole my water bottle! So they'd do the cross finger whenever they brush passed me. Its a thing Hindus does when they accidentally touch an untouchable (example: shit, dogs, i dont know what else). And they sometimes hang their silver chain on their ears. I still don't get it. Radha karan, Krsna Karan.

Little flower School. I think It did more harm than good to me. I felt more at home near the pond and learnt from novels & magazine rather than from teachers.

The only thing I learnt from school is if senior girls like you, your classmates wudn't be so bad to you. Mom called the other day to tell me Subaarti sent me her wedding invitation. She kept in touch even thru my long hair days ( she preferred me in my short cropped hair tho)..for 18 years! She was my hardcore fan..lol! Its amazing.

The only person I knew for that long a time are my annoying siblings. Can't really get rid of them, can I?

What was about trading one's roots for the gypsy's trail? I really need a brain transplant or a red bull for my memory. I have difficulty remembering anything. I wish this amnesia works on bad memories too. I won't dwell on this bad reverie. A visit to the casino & the bar at the Marina Sands. Did I resolved on taking one step at a time, one day at a time?

1. Wake up

2. Brush my teeth.

3. Smoke.

4. Get ready and go out.

5. Don't forget to breath in between.

6. Ah, I ll think about the 6 when I reach No. 5

Oh yea, I amuse myself with the trivialities. I bought a Charles Hiedsieck as a gift but I seriously struggled not to look at it too much. I am lady Smeagol. I thot of shaving my head the other day but then I thot my airline might not warm up to a bald stewardess. Maybe, dharmsala.

I learnt a few things about myself when I went thru the pain call Auckland.

I don't like spelling mistakes.

I like slightly being breathless.

I can't read anymore. Mr Nice flew out of the window from my hotel room.

I started writing with my left hand. I spent 6 pages writing nonsense Until my fingers cramped.

And I still haven't come up with the PLAN!